Obedience :)

I started writing a blog post a couple weeks ago about my toxic trait of only starting or restarting things on Mondays lol. I am fully aware that this is a problem and I intend to fix it one day but not today...maybe next Monday! However, I never finished it. When I start writing, I don't finish it unless I feel it. It never makes sense to do it any other way. But anyway, today I was taking a break at work and decided to go down memory lane AGAIN. I've gotta stop doing that. But, I came across this video that I recorded in December of 2021, which was pretty fresh into the most ratchet season of my life lol. In the video I said "I know that the only thing that can get me through this is my faith in God and it's the only thing that's going to sustain me." Now would be a good time to express that I didn't really believe that when I said it but I knew that was just what you say when you find yourself in circumstances like that. I got a lil emo watching the video as one does in the middle of the day. Really, I was just impressed with how far God has brought me over the last couple of years. Obviously, when I spoke those words I had no idea the journey to come. Nothing could have prepared me for it, but I am grateful none the less.

I recently shared something from Hebrews 12 where it says to fix your eyes on Jesus and how He is the author and perfector of our faith. In the midst of that message I shared that the next step after having faith is obedience. I am not happy to report that those words have come back to bite me in the butt. When you walk through a situation or circumstance, God will use that thing to solidify your faith. Whether it's big faith or little faith, God wants to perfect it to a place that is unshakable. The issue is He doesn't stop there. That solid faith that you now have isn't just meant to live within you and collect dust. It now has to be put to work. Why? Because faith without works is dead. That faith means nothing if not tried and proved by way of fire in circumstance or by obedience through instruction.

So, back to my video. I am impressed with how God has tried and solidified my faith through life's circumstances. Not saying that it's perfect by any means but it's as solid as it's ever been. But remember what comes after faith? Obedience. Now, for some reason I for sure thought I was exempt from this part of the journey, or at least it slipped my mind at some point. Anyway, yesterday I felt the Lord asking me to surrender in a very specific way. It wasn't a loud instruction. It was very faint, so I tried to convince myself it wasn't him lol. But then the message for that night was centered around Genesis 22 which is the part where God tells Abraham to sacrifice Isaac.

Pause. I would like to point out that God will always confirm what He is speaking through His word. He can and may use other witnesses or dreams to do this but He will ALWAYS use His word. Why? Because He is His word and they can never contradict each other. Resume.

So, at this point it is apparent that what I faintly heard in my spirit was in fact the Lord and I had no excuse now. It was too obvious and too clear. No part of me was upset I was just genuinely in shock that this had just happened and I don't know why it shocked me, it just did. Then there was a part of the message where the speaker said:

"Ishmaels are easy to give! But God is asking for your Isaac."

He goes on to explain how Isaac represents the promises in our life that God has given us. This would be a good place to mention that I have just recently (and finally) became excited and open to promises that God has spoken to me over the years. Therefor, for me to be in that place and to then be asked to lay it down is kind of ghetto in my book. But I know that it's the Lord and the events of the night just further prove it. I am reminded of a verse in Hosea that says:

"For I desire faithful love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings."

Hosea 6:6

This is God lamenting for His people. But my point is that, when God asks something of us, it's less about the thing He's asking for and more about our faithfulness to Him. Are we more faithful to the things He gives us or to Him alone? I am beyond grateful for the things that God has accomplished and done in me and through me. Everything that I have or that I am is because of Him. But my desire for the things of God cannot out weigh my desire for God himself. And this is where obedience comes in. Obedience is our opportunity to show God how faithful our love really is. It's not about performance or striving to prove our love and loyalty to Him. That's not what obedience is. Obedience is simply "I love you and I trust you, Lord" in action! It is the works to your faith that James 2 talks about.

I have no idea what this act of obedience looks like practically. That's where the Holy Spirit comes in. He leads us and guides us daily (if you let Him) in these things. But I do know it'll be worth it whether God provides something in return for my sacrifice or not. Hard pill to swallow but it's the truth. Moments like this do 2 things. They keep us sober in remembering that this thing has never been about the things He gives or doesn't give. That's not and will never be the measure of His faithfulness. The other thing it does is keep us near. In Isaiah God raises up a new king and tells him that He will give him the "riches of the secret place" and then he will know that He is God. Your obedience causes you to draw near to the Lord and in that He reveals more of Himself to you.

Step 1: Have Faith.

Step 2: Obey.